Copying is the sincerest form of flattery?

Back in the summer I commented on China's growing Shenzai industry, or the cellphones copying western models, such as Apple's iPhone, and pretty much everything from the Docomo/AU/Softbank line-up here in Japan. This is not the end of Chinese industry's manic search for acceptance by going from making tat, to making high quality stuff. Problem is, developing this reputation takes a long time. Did Apple become cool overnight? Well, kinda, it rejuvenated itself with the launch of the iPod, but that took years of development, and came off the back of it relaunching itself on the back of the iMac, and that itself was something that took years...

China is looking for instant gratification, and does not want to spend time on the whole niggly issue of designing its own products, so is lifting "western" designs, and re-badging them, and selling them back.

It is in everything. Fast food, cell phones, computers, and cars. Cars are expensive to develop, even more difficult to build a reputation, and a very heavy long term investment. Look at Kia. A laugh when it launched in Europe, but slowly, steadily, it is introducing better and better cars, and is beginning to develop a reputation. It took Japanese companies decades to go from being a joke to having the top-ranked cars in the world.

China is trying to do that in months. Look at Shanghai automotive. They bought a lot of Rover in 2006, and has now re-launched it as the Roewe 750. It is pretty much the same as the Rover 75, just a slightly longer wheelbase, and a tweaked nose.

Shanghai can do this, as they hold the designs and they maintain a design house in England, keeping many of the old Rover workers. However, many companies do not have the rights to build the cars the way they do, nor have they signed agreements to copy the styles of other companies. They are looking to achieve the same levels of respect that the western companies have, but to do in months what took western companies decades.

Here are a few. Spot the difference!

The Shuanghuan CEO, and BMW's X5. The ends are different, and you can easily tell them apart. However, the side and back are nearly indistinguishable!

The Smart Fortwo, and Shenghuan Noble. The Smart uses a rear-mounted engine, plastic body panels, and a unique safety cell. The Shenhuan Noble looks the same, but the engine is in the front, and the body is conventional steel. And its own unique safety cell. Which is, er, the same...

Mini's Clubman, and Jalopniks Lifan 320. Jalopnik claim it is not a Mini, because theirs has bigger dimensions to the Mini. Ignoring the fact that their car LOOKS the same, especially in pictures which share the same dimensions!

Mercedes CLK (2007) and Byd F8. The Mercedes features a range of engines from 3 to 5 litres, and awesome driving refinement. The Byd F8 has a 1.8, or 2 litre engine, developing about 100bhp. But it LOOKS nice, Mercedes styling cues. And weirdly, a BMW inspired corporate logo...

Mazda 3, and Haima 3. Here, Haima used to have a deal to make Mazda 3's for the Chinese market. The deal lapsed because Mazda felt it would be better if they made the Mazda 3 for the Chinese market, and pulled the Mazda 3 from Haima. No problem. Haima just carried on!

Daewoo Matiz, and Cherry QQ. These cars are so similar, that the doors ARE pretty much interchangeable! However, the QQ managed to get a 0 star rating in the Euro crash tests, and GM took court action. Cherry have agreed to only sell the car in China.

Honda CRV, and Laibao SRV.This is lazy. The car is the same, and the name is the same!

Neoplan Starliner, and Zonda A9. It is not just cars. Neoplan is one of the biggest makers of buses, and so, has made them a target for copycatting. The Neoplan is safe, and has a great reputation. The Zonda bus company has been ordered to stop selling it since Neoplan has all the copyrights...

Toyota Prado, and the Dadi Shuttle. I hate it when they get so lazy that they just mirror another model...

Toyota Rav4, and Shuanghuan UFO.

Now, to my personal favourite. The most prestigious brand in the world, Rolls Royce, is not immune to this. At the Shanghai motor show, Geely unveiled their Ge. Which Geely even delcare to be reinventing the classic! Problem is, when the classic is a Rolls, does it need reinventing!?!

Rolls Royce is talking to its lawyers. They will be good Lawyers.

As I said in my last article on this. Chinese companies have shown that they are capable of developing things which have some interesting twists. But in their manic rush for acceptability, they are copying others.

Why?

They have the money, and China as a nation can afford the time to be a bit more patient, and turn their hand to developing a truly Chinese car with its own distinctive style!

Ah well. some day, some day, they will learn...

Sit on this for my pleasure.

Got your attention? Good.

Thought it might be fun to highlight something that affords us gaikokujin here in Japan to awesome lengths.

Engrish.

One problem we have is that Japanese and English do not translate directly into each other. This does lead to some hilarious mistranslations. In order to add some extra cool internationalness, people will tack on to their product a line or 2 of English. Or if it is fashion, the shirt will include something in English.

The problem is, because many Japanese are not so adept at English, they will use translation services on the internet, or punch it into a e-dictionary and run with whatever it spits out. Problem with these electronic services is that they translate literally, and completely ignore the nuances that come with each language.

The end results can be hilarious!

First of all, this number. Must admit, I am also baffled by billchit. Answers, please, on a postcard to...

America has the NBA, and in Japan we have the amusingly titled BJ League. Cue huge burst of laughter when the cheerleaders walk around with a banner proclaiming them to be the BJ champions...

"Cant we all just get a bong?" Well, I know many who would agree with both sentiments. Once we have crow-barred them apart...

Yes. If you have a problem with an ATM in Japan, dont bother trying to get help. However, if there is some spotty oik harassing you, then by all means, call for help!

Sod lotion. For those moments Sods law steps in to ruin the moment.

I suppose the best kind of philospher is the one who talks to himself, and not to us...?

Not sure at all what this one is talking about.

Well. We all want our brains relocating. Somewhere preferably hot, with a white sandy beach!

Well, there are some examples of Engrish. Hope you enjoyed. There are plenty more where these came from!

EPL Update. November (1)

Well, we have moved in to November, and the EPL is still throwing up a lot of interesting moments! The top of the league has fluctuated a lot, whilst the bottom has actually begun to stabilize a bit. So, from top to bottom, here are the teams, and a summary of things so far.

1) Manchester Phoenix

Manchester seem to have finally shaken off whatever bug it was that was doing the rounds through the dressing room last month. This month has seen the team win every game since losing in that very strange game to Slough last month. A convincing 8-4 win in Basingstoke started this turnaround, followed by a 6-3 grind against Swindon. Then, a monster 2nd period blitz against Bracknell allowed the team to go from toughing out the game, to a comfortable 8-3 win. The month was then rounded out with a tough, exciting game against the Lightning, and winning 3-2. The game by all accounts was fantastic. Feisty, energetic, full of combat, but overall, full of fun!

Now, the Phoenix have closed on Milton Keynes, and then opened up a 2 point gap, with a game in hand.

2) Milton Keynes Lightning

Milton Keynes had a mid week game against Swindon, where they managed to scrape a 3-2 win. This drawn out win was followed with a blow out of Romford, who are unfortunately turning into the leagues whipping boys. Deeply sorry for them! MK walked out with 2 points, and a 11 goal difference, after scoring 12!

However, Bracknell caused something of a surprise, with a 3-2 win in Bracknell. Never mind. These happen. Unfortunately for MK, there where following losses to Slough (6-3) and of course, the Phoenix. So, 5 games, 2 wins, and a current 3 game losing streak. Still, goes to show how teams are taking points off each other, in a league this close, after 3 losses, MK is still 2nd!

3) Guildford Flames

The Flames have been working away, and keeping themselves there or thereabouts for a while. They are 2 points behind the Lightning, with 2 games in hand on them. This month has been short. so far, only 3 games, a loss to the improving Peterborough Phantoms, then followed by 2 wins. 5-2 over Swindon, and then, 3-2 over the Bison.

4) Sheffield Scimitars

Sheffield have managed to do themselves a big favour. After slipping down the league, they have managed to get bodies back, and managed to edge back up the table. They started out with good wins against Slough (A team that seems to have the Phoenix' number!), and the Bison, followed a close win against Peterborough, and then another game against Slough. This was a win from penalty shots.

5) Slough Jets

Slough have carried on quietly working away, with a very good squad. However, they still manage to cough at just the wrong moments! The month started with a big 8-3 loss to the Scimitars, Followed by a close 4-2 win against Romford. A team that has shown that it can play. Just not very often. Slough then followed that with a 6-3 win over the then-league leaders, MK, and finally, a 2-1 over time loss to the Scimitars. Sheffield seem to have THEIR number!

6) Basingstoke Bison

Basingstoke have not enjoyed the same level of success as Manchester has, in spite of being in their first year in the EPL after dropping down from the Elite League. Basingstoke started November with an 8-4 loss to the Phoenix, then another loss to Sheffield. Finally! A bit of good news! A win over Romford, followed by yet another loss. This time, against Guildford.

7) Swindon Wildcats

As it stands, the Wildcats are wobbling along, and need to get a move on. Peterborough are slowly closing the gap! Swindon started with a mid-week loss to the Lightning, then to the Phoenix, then to the Flames, and finally, they managed to lose in a big way. 8-3. To Romford. Yes. Romford. Swindon gave Romford its first seasons win!

8) Peterborough Phantoms

Peterborough have managed to pick up a couple more wins, to close a little on Bracknell. They started the run with a win over the team above them, the Bees. Then followed that up with a win over the Guildford Flames. However, things began to go a little wrong with a loss to the Sheffield Scimitars, then the gap grew a little when they faced the Bees again, but this time, lost.

9) Bracknell Bees

Bracknells season has not so much hit the skids as unfortunately it now seems to be wallowing a little in the mud, with the other teams round them managing to avoid the puddles. Well, apart from Romford.

Bracknell lost a little ground when they started the month losing to Peterborough, then they managed to surprise MK, beating the Lightning 3-2. Then a loss to Manchester, only to regain the lost ground to Peterborough with a 6-4 win.

10) Romford Raiders

Unfortunately for Romford, they have not been blessed with a whole lot of luck this season. However, they are an earnest squad, and knew that if they kept working, the rewards would come. Unfortunately, the rewards have been very thin on the ground.

At the start of the month, they where turned over in a big way by MK, 12-1. This was follwed by a relatively close 4-2 loss to Slough, then another big loss to Basingstoke 12-4. However, the very next game against Swindon saw Romford finally catch a break. Not only that, but a huge break. An 8-3 win! That will have gone some way to evening out the scoring race. Unfortunately, they have shipped a lot of goals already, so bagging 8 wont amount to much...

Justice in Japan! (2)

Now, recently, I posted about the Japanese star, Noriko Sakai, or, Nori-P. She had been arrested for drug possession and use, and had been put on trial. Well, the trial has now finished, with the sentence passed down.

The presiding judge, Hiroaki Murayama, did say that she had shown signs of a deep affinity with drugs, since she had stored some for use at a later date. The Judge also described her actions as "cowardly" when she went on the run from the Police for 6 days. She claimed to be scared, though the slightly more synical view being that it was to allow her body to flush the drug out. Of course, that does not flush it out of your hair...

However, in handing down his punishment, the Judge did acknowledge several matters that mitigate the need for a harsh prison term that the prosecution wanted. Her management company had severed links with her, making it hard to launch a comeback of her singing and acting career, so she has already had the social sanction.

Also, she is actively considering divorcing her husband. The person who introduced her to drugs in the first place.

Finally, the Judge did acknowledge that Noriko had shown a deep amount of contrition and remorse for her actions.

The punishment is an 18 month prison sentence, suspended for 3 years.

Well, we will see what she does now. She has said she will rehabilitate herself, without the need for a private rehab programme. She has also talked about learning to become some kind of nurse, so she can leanr to help people avoid the mistakes she made.

Or she may very well write a book, and relaunch herself!

We will see.

She is still an attractive woman. With a story.

Justice in Japan! (1)

Well, many people may remember the news about Lindsay Hawker, the English teacher working here in Japan. Hailing from England, she had joined one of the major Eikaiwa here in Japan, Nova. One of the students she taught (Not her student, that was not how Nova organised their classes) was a 28 year old man, by the name of Tatsuya Ichihashi.

One day, seeing her on the train, he went to talk to her, and finally managed to persuade her to give him private English classes at his apartment. Should he pay her, then technically, that is in breach of her visa, but hey! All of us teachers do that sort of thing whilst here!

So, off she went, to his apartment building, where she met a very violent end. After tying her with tape, he proceeded to beat her with a blunt object, and finally strangling her. Once dead, he proceeded to stuff her body into a bathtub full of sand on his balcony. He cut off her hair as it takes too long to decompose, and had treated her body with chemicals to try to speed the decomposition process up.

A lot of forward planning here! What a horrible man.

As police arrived to investigate Lindsays disappearance, Ichihashi proceeded to bolt for freedom, without shoes, and went on the run.

The police said that they did not stop him because at the time they did not know at the time it was going to be a murder investigation. Of course, many people figure he should have been nabbed simply because it is his apartment where they are looking, so should be held, pending a search, to see if there is anything about Lindsay. Of course, there was.

Whilst on the run, Ichihashi was believed to have escaped Tokyo by dressing as a woman. This may sound kinda odd, but in Japan, a lot of men have better legs and a better walk than a woman!

He spent 2 years on the run, and during that time, the Hawker family criticised the Police for being too lax in hunting for him, for not treating the case with the right amount of urgency. There may well be a grain of truth in their accusation. Unfortunately, the Police in Japan do not have the best of reputation.

OK, in Kashiwazaki they tend to leave us alone, but they either leave you alone, or hound you for the smallest of things, such as a bike light that might be out of a battery. In Japan, the Police is highly secretive, and in many ways, seen as being above the law. Japan has a 99% conviction rate. A lot of it is from confessions from interrogations. And no-one knows what goes on in those rooms, as the interrogation sessions are not videoed to prevent mis-treatment. Recently, a few cases have been overturned after the victim has proved that the confession was "coerced" and not willingly supplied.

However, they did raise the reward for information to the eye popping sum of 10,000,000 yen.

So, Ichihashi went on the run.

Where did he go?

Well, recently, he reappeared on the scene, after a company manager spotted a poster of him, and realised it looked like an ex-worker. Part of Ichihashi's escape was to live in a company dormitory in Osaka and work fr a construction company. Saving large amounts of money by never going out, and always working overtime when it was offered.

How had he disappeared? And why had it taken so long o find him?

Well, looks like a lot of the money he saved had been used to go through several rounds of plastic surgery.

This leads me to ask, why did the clinic not spot him before the operation? After all, his face has been on posters plastered on pretty much every surface right across Japan!

Anyway. These are all questions to be answered later.

Ichihashi had 2 courses of plastic surgery, the first in Fukuoka, all the way in the south, and the second in Nagoya.

It also came to light that he had asked a colleague at the construction company to get a passport application pack. It seems that his ultimate plan was to save enough for surgery, and then flee the country. Where, we dont know.

However, once the manager had seen his picture, he called the Police, and told them that whilst he was fairly confident, he was not 100% because of the surgery. Thus the Police released the new picture which was then splashed over pretty much every newspaper, and TV channel for at least a week! For a Japanese person to not have seen the new picture, they would have had to been living in a cave!

Also, we have seen a very emotional plea from his family for Ichihashi to turn himself in to the Police, to explain what went on, and basically, be a man.

Very soon, the Police had been contacted, and now had well over a thousand leads to follow!

And the good news is, today, in Osaka, the Police have announced his arrest. Soon he will head back to Tokyo for questioning, and within a few weeks, if not days, we will see charges brought, and his trial started.

In Japan, this has been something of a bit of an embarrassment for them. The Hawkers have been quite vocal in their pleas, and occasional criticism. The Police have not enjoyed it, and for Japanese society at large, it does not sit well. Foreigners on the receiving end is not something the society concerns itself with. However, a foreigner working in Japan, murdered by a Japanese guy, in a very safe nation? It has caused a little bit of consternation!

For the family of Lindsay, I only hope this brings a measure of peace.

The future for Ice Hockey is...

Uncertain.

For those of you who are aware of its history, but British Ice Hockey, as a very small minority sport, has a wonderful ability to be a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because you meet the most wonderful, dedicated people, and share a camaraderie that you just do not find in any other sport.

However, it is also a curse. We are forever doomed to follow a minority sport that loses out to Rugby and Cricket, and is totally swamped by Football. Though there are those in the media who share our passion for the game and are doing the best they can. Though I fear that they are lonely voices trying to shout over the torrent that is Football.

Also, British Ice Hockey manages to careen from glorious highlight, to crashing crisis with frightening regularity and a degree of frequency that would tire lesser mortals. But for us Hockey fans, this is nothing! Bring on the pain! We relish it! (Mostly)

So, way back in the early 2000's, we had the death of Ice Hockey Superleague in the UK. An arena based league, with unrestrained budgets, then later, un-policed budget caps that led to financial hardship for many teams. Ayr was forced out of its building and relocated to Glasgow, but never got the numbers to work. Manchester Storm, playing out of the MEN Arena, once Ogdens was sold to SMG and SMG decided to cut them loose, it was always going to be a monumental fight for the Storm to pay for the squad, as well as rent for the building, and astronomical running costs from playing out of the arena. In its last year, the ISL finished with 6 teams.

So, after a re-writing of the rules to work in some financial constraint, the Elite League was born, with a re-launched Manchester team as part of it.

The EIHL started out pretty well, but the arena teams where still very reliant on imports to keep the standard of Hockey up, and finances still proved to be somewhat difficult to control.

After several years, rumours abound of teams breaking the wage cap. This came to something of a head in the 2008/2009 season, when Basingstoke announced they will drop to the EPL for the next season, financial hardships where striking Edinburgh, making life difficult for Newcastle and Hull, and Neil Morris was wondering if he could keep funding the Phoenix at this level.

The next round of rumours where that the top 4 teams where, yet again, way over the wage cap. A rumour only accelerated when "a member" of the Panthers organisation voiced his disdain for the wage cap, and would basically ignore it. The previous season had seen the 4 major clubs take something of a penalty, by limiting themselves to 10 imports whilst the rest could go up to 11. However, this proved to be pretty much useless as a method for parity as the same 4 teams ran away with the league again.

So, rounds of meetings, with the smaller teams, with the bigger teams, without either party, etc. Eventually, something of a deal was agreed for the running of the EIHL in the 2009/2010 season. Unfortunately, Neil Morris said that he would decide to accept this once he had heard the reaction from the club owners who had not been party to the negotiations.

Obviously, their reaction to tougher cap controls, etc, was not what Neil wanted to hear, and so he pulled the Phoenix out, and we have since found a new home in the English Premier League.

So, the Phoenix and the Bison move leagues, leaving 8 teams in the EIHL. Belfast, Sheffield, Nottingham, Coventry, Newcastle, Hull, Edinburgh, and Cardiff.

Only that deijavu strikes again! Edinburgh has announced that they need to secure further funding in order to really survive, and Newcastle needs the switch from the convenient but expensive Newcastle Arena to the cheaper, but far less convenient Whitley Bay Arena, in order to pay their bills.

It makes it look decidedly shaky about those 2 teams making it to the end of the season. Also, Hull, it is rumoured, is supported by understanding owners as well as being backed by Neil Black, the owner of the Panthers. Though this has not been proven. Given his personal success, and his desire to keep the EIHL going in its current format, I would not be surprised! Also, this rumour has been circulating for a long time and has simply refused to die.

However, if Edinburgh and Newcastle fold or walk, leaving 6 teams, will Hull stay? It is unlikely. They will end up as league whipping boys and I dont think they would welcome that!

So, if the EIHL is drawing to a close, what will it be replaced with?

This is a tough one. The easiest option would be a new league, and seeing if they could entice some of the top EPL clubs to join them, such as Manchester. However, there is a history of bad blood between the top EIHL teams, and the EPL.

Also, Manchester and Basingstoke have found a comfy home in the EPL, and until Manchester has a more secure footing, and its new building, looks unlikely the Phoenix will be moving any time soon!

Another problem of course, is what about Edinburgh? Since they are in Scotland, they are not under the EPL's jurisdiction.

What I would like to see is something that has been mooted. A new BPL. Take the EPL, and expand it. Absorb in Hull, Cardiff, Edinburgh, and make it nation-wide. We could also pull in Fife, who have voiced a desire to be playing at a higher level than the SNL can allow. It would also be possible to bring in Dundee, but not so sure how that would go down for the teams in the south of England!

If we also brought in a couple more teams, we could split the league into 2 conferences of 8 teams. So, 2 games away and home in your conference, and 1 against the other conference. Split it north and south, and it allows for a great opportunity for an NHL style playoff system for the end of season trophy.

But what about Nottingham, Sheffield, Belfast and Coventry? Well, if they are willing to buckle down, and put themselves under the EPL, and its rules, maybe including a wage cap that would be independently monitored to prevent breaches, then maybe we can let them in. Sheffield are mooted to be maybe moving to a new smaller rink in Rotheram, and Coventry's size does make it likely they could in theory benefit from the lower cost base in the EPL. Belfast and Nottingham are something else. Both are genuine arena teams. Difficult to fit them in to the small-rink based EPL!

Ah well. At the moment, the EPL seems a little more stable, so we may be ok. So, er, good luck to the rest! I dont want you to fold for the sake of your fans, but are we seeing the final death of arena hockey in the UK?

Scandal! Japanese style!

Now. If anyone has been keeping up with the news in Japan, it is likely you will have heard a story about Noriko Sakai. If you are interested in Japanese music, then you will have come across her pseudonym, Nori P.

She is, as you can see, an attractive woman. However, this has not stopped her from sinking into controversy.

This story is also an excellent warning for anyone who thinks it might be a good idea to try to use drugs here in Japan!

Nori P was formally arrested on August 7th this summer after a 6 day man-hunt. Her "professional surfer" husband having been arrested after being found in possession of stimulant drugs. Takaso was searched by the police, and they found drugs in his underwear. Noriko was informed to attend the police station to submit to a urine test. However, she vanished with her son.

Later, she left her son with her friend, bought some clean underwear, and vanished for 6 days.

Whilst she was missing, the police searched her apartment, and found 0.008g of stimulant drugs wrapped in foil in her apartment.

Noriko Sakai has led an interesting life. Her father was involved with the Yakuza, though they tried to keep her away from that side of their life. At the age of 14 she made her musical debut, and then at 16, broke through.

She became a hugely popular star, with fans all over Asia. She built a strong image as a cute singer, and drew many fans with her wholesome girl-next-door looks.

However, as she grew older, it proved increasingly hard to keep her cute young image, and the fight got tougher and tougher. Then she met her future husband, Yuichi Takaso. A self professed professional surfer.

From then, rumours began to abound about her husband "leading her astray" so to speak. As work for her began to dry up, she began to branch out. Making her DJing debut in Sapporo, and upon moving to the clubs in tokyo, she began to display erratic behaviour.

The internet in Japan began to buzz with rumours of her drug use. With most of the blame being laid at her husbands feet. And to be honest, it really looks likely that he IS to blame!

After giving birth to 2 kids, Noriko slowly began to re-work her image and re-launch herself as a celebrity mum. However, the rumours refused to go away. She has been dogged by them ever since her marriage to her husband.

She did finally admit to using stimulants since 2008, though previous staffers of hers suggested that the use goes back much further.

So, upon her arrest, she quickly apologised to the public for her loss of face, and for breaking their trust in her. As is common in Japan, and its judicial service with its 99% success rate in convictions! Before she was arraigned for trial, we witnessed a very public apology when she came before the press, and then later, in a conference, when the tears flowed.

So, now we have the court case. Unlike in the west when a court case could last a long time, this should be over in a week or so! She has admitted to possession of stimulants, so the case is not about finding her guilty. She has admitted to it. It was discovered in tests on her hair.

So, now we have the argument over her punishment. Given that Noriko has lost a lot of her commercial activities, including having her fashion line completely pulled. Her rebranding has suffered a huge setback, and will take years to fix.

The prosecution service wants her to serve 18 months in Jail, whilst the defending legal team argues for an 18 month suspended sentence, and community service.

The level of interest in this case here in Japan has been immense. It receives regular airtime on all the "wide shows" and the nightly news round up shows. Every hint, every suggestion, every snippet that can be gleaned from Japans notoriously secretive justice system is analysed and dissected every way possible, and then dissected some more! On the opening day of her trial, well over 6,000 people lined up to take part in a lottery for 1 of the 20 seats open to the public.

What has really "disappointed" some in the media (taking their moral high horse, like they do) is the fact that Nori P did take part in an anti-narcotics campaign back in 1993, and she has been involved with promoting the new lay judge system that the Japanese have introduced.

Well, a judgement will be made soon.

Let it be a warning. A tiny amount of drugs in Japan really is an unwise thing to do. The legal system will be more than happy to throw the kitchen sink at you. With the rest of the kitchen attached!