...And then there where 2!

So, back in October, I talked about the state of the J League. Well, here is the pre-final week update. I will be back next week with who has won the J League title. The league this year has proven to be very close. We have been all the way through the season, and only in the final 2 weeks have we narrowed down the number of teams with theoretical chances to do anything to 2! The relegation issue has been finally sorted, the title race has come down to the wire.

So. First of all. The relegated teams.

Oita Trinita is not a surprise. Last season they surprised Japan by being quite a force. Ending the season a long way up from where they currently are today. However, it was all on the back of one of the leagues stingiest defences. Their strike force did not set the league on fire, so Trinita employed an almost Italian style of play from the 80's and 90's, and locked up the back. Winning many games by 1 goal.

This year however, started badly. The forward line had not improved greatly, whilst the defence had now been found out. It could not gel like it had the season before, and opposing teams had far more success. This combined to start the season badly, and for the pain to basically continue all year. Despite the loyal fans turning out each and every week.

A mid season managerial change saw a small bounce, but ultimately led to nothing. Oita was doomed to the drop almost from day 1. Though, they have managed some notable things. Getting a victory over Nagoya being 1. These better moments, however, where too far apart to do nothing other than add a little sugar to a large bitter pill.

Next, Chiba JEF United. JEF started out only slightly better than Trinita, and basically headed the same way. JEF United used to be one of the stronger teams in the J League. However, a managerial merry-go-round saw a turnover in players, and the team suffered as a result. Over the space of a few seasons, JEF sank down the league. Last season they managed to engineer a last day escape.

This season, the gaping vortex that is relegation tried that little bit more, and JEF proved unable to escape this time round. Collapsing like a soggy flan.

Next up for the drop, Kashiwa. A bit like JEF, only their decline has been longer and slower. Used to be a top team, then over the course of several seasons, the decline was steady, and almost imperceptible.

The start of the season saw Kashiwa duke it out with Oita and JEF to be ranked as the worst team in the league.

However, too late, the team woke up. They began to fight and over the last few weeks they scrapped out several important results. Including recently, where they went to Niigata and by winning, gave themselves a fighting chance to escape and at hte same time end Niigata's slim hopes of getting into 3rd and qualifying for the Asian Champions League. However, this last weekend saw Kashiwa finally succumb when they rather limply stumbled to a draw with the team they where hoping to overhaul, Omiya.

OK. So, back up to the top of the table.

As of 3pm on Saturday, we had the top three teams going into games that Saturday which would have a massive bearing on the destination of the championship.

Kashima stood at the top of the league on 60 points and a +16 goal difference. Kawasaki Frontale are in second, with 58 points and a +22 goal difference. Gamba Osaka are third with 57 points and a +20 goal difference.

In the penultimate round of games, Kashima was scheduled to play Gamba, and Kawasaki had a home game against Albirex Niigata.

Well, first of all Kawasaki. I am sorry Kashima, but Albirex could not do the job for you. If Kashima had won, and Albi, then Kashima would be the champions as of now. Unfortunately, Kawasaki where the better side. Played better, and had better control of the ball. However, they could not break down a stubborn Albirex defence, and only bagged the 1 goal. Indeed, they needed some luck as Niigata did have a couple of amazing chances to equalize, but as is the story of Niigatas season, they where all a case of "close, but no cigar."

On to the more intriguing tie of Kashima having to play Gamba. First v third? A mouth watering clash for anyone! Unfortunately, it did not deliver. It delivered a result. An emphatic result. Kashima rolled off with the points after stuffing Gamba 5-1!

Kawasaki's win kept them just 2 points behind Kashima, whilst Gamba's loss put them 5 points back from Kashima, and out of the race.

We now head into the final weekend with Kawasaki having the arguably easier game against the relegated Raysol, whilst Kashima face the more daunting challenge of heading to Saitama to take on Urawa Reds. Whilst this has not been Urawa's season, they do occupy 4th, and are a very dangerous animal with some of the best players in Japan.

A win for Kashima seals the deal. Anything other than that leaves them very vulnerable. Should Kashima draw, and Kawasaki win, that means both teams will end the season on 64 points, and Kawasaki winning on goal difference by 3 goals! A 34 game season, and it could be ended by 3 simple goals!

However, 1 result that is entirely likely is that Kawasaki wins, and Kashima loses. This allows Kawasaki to leapfrog Kashima and win the league by 1 point.

As you can see, the league is going down to the wire. It is all in Kashima's hands to win or lose. However, their grip is tenuous, and the slightest hint of a slip will allow Kawasaki to jump in and snatch the prize with the last gasp of the season after Kashima have spent such a long time in the top slot!

To again quote Sir Alex Ferguson...

"Its squeaky bum time!"

Oh, just to wrap up...

I cant leave off without talking about Albirex Niigata. This has been a season that, on the face of it, many Albi fans will look back and say that it has been a good year. Especially after the last couple of years where Albirex have had no consistency. 1 year 14th, then 6th, then back down to 13th. To go into the final weekend of the season in 8th is a significant improvement.

Problem is, this season has shown what Albirex could do. Albirex started the season, and rapidly climbed up the table, and about a third the way through Albi finally broke through. They managed to climb to the top of the tree and for a few weeks, they where able to look back, and see all the other teams strung out behind them.

Unfortunately, after that, the season slowly unravelled. They did occupy third for a long time, clinging on to the last Asian Champions League slot for dear life. Unfortunately, they where unable to do so, and the loss to Kashiwa ended their faint hope of grasping the third slot.

Still, it has been a fantastic season. And, if results go Niigata's way, they very well could end the season fifth, thanks to their better goal difference!

Still. One thing is sure. Niigata will have to look for a new manager. Jun Suzuki has announced his intention to finish at the end of the season.

The Chrysanthemum Throne

The Japanese feel a certain kinship with Britain. It is easy to see why. Both nations are island nations. Both have long histories, and both are constitutional monarchies.

However, Queen Elizabeth has been the Monarch of the United Kingdom (and other nations) since 1952. Making her the longest serving British monarch, and second longest in the world. Behind King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand.

Emperor Akihito of Japan, however, has not been on the Chrysanthemum throne as long as Queen Elizabeth has in the UK. This week sees the 20th aniversary of his accession to the throne.

The Emperor of Japan is, under article 1 of Japan's post-war constitution, the symbolic figurehead of the nation. Something for the public to look up to, and rally around. Like Queen Elizabeth II in Great Britain, he has few political powers, and his role is largely ceremonial. Restricted to swearing in administrations, receiving new ambassadors to Japan, presenting awards of merit, and convening sessions of the Diet (Japan's parliament).

Also, the Imperial household in Japan is managed by a zealous group of conservative civil servants, who take their duty to maintain the household as an honourable institution very seriously. This management is a very, very tough straitjacket for the Imperial family to live in. Indeed, Crown Princess Masako has been on "restricted duties" due to stress. Brought on by the tight rules governing the lives of those within the Imperial household. Rules such as where they can or cannot go for relaxation (no more popping out for a couple of hours of karaoke!), for example. Also, she was under tremendous pressure to give birth to a son. The law in Japan states that the Chrysanthemum Throne can only be ascended to by male members of the family.

This has been cause of great problems with the family recently, since the Emperor has 2 sons, Crown Prince Naruhito, and Prince Akishino. Problem was, the family line effectively ended with Akishino. Huge debate broke forth about changing the law to allow women to ascend to the throne. This would have solved the problem, since the Crown Princess had struggled to give birth, and finally gave birth to their only child, Princess Aiko.

The debate raged in Japan through the media and the parliament, with progressives pushing for a law allowing women to ascend to the throne, whilst hardline conservatives where determined to resist any such move. Indeed, Prime Minister Koizumi stated he would try to introduce legislation to bring about the necessary changes.

However, he had opposition within his own party. For example, in 2006, the then-Trade Minister Takeo Hiranuma declared opposition to the proposal to allow women to ascend to the throne. His (very weak) argument was that the Crown Princes daughter, Princess Aiko might marry a foreigner! Of course, most normal sane people would laugh at that.

The debate was finally suspended for a generation when Prince Akishino, the younger brother of the Crown Prince, and his wife, finally delivered what the conservatives wanted, a son. They had already had 2 girls, Princesses Mako and Kako, and then, in 2006, Prince Hisato was born.

The debate has since died down. But as it stands, the line extends from the Crown Prince, to Prince Hisato, and there it ends. The debate will rise once again. And personally, I hope Japan will be more able to force a change in the law!

Anyway. Back to the Emperor. As a young man, during the war, he was spirited away out of Tokyo. It has been reported that the young Prince was appalled that the Japanese military had resorted to training young men for suicide missions.

After the war, he was tutored by the American, Elizabeth Vining. She educated him in the English language, and "the essence of American democracy."

The Prince was reasonably good at tennis, and it was through the game where he met his future wife. Michiko Soda was the daughter of the owner of a flour milling company. During a mixed doubles game of tennis at a resort in Karuizawa, Nagano, the two metin 1957, and a relationship blossomed. The following year the Imperial Household announced the engagement of the couple. The announcement was greeted with a good deal of happiness by the Japanese and led to them affectionately naming the future Empress, "Mitchy." There followed an explosion of interest. The "Mitchy Boom." Where magazines aimed at women carried photos and articles detailing almost every aspect of her life.

The couple where finally married in 1959.

The Emperor does take his role very seriously, and tries very hard to keep himself a-political. Therefore he does not make too many comments that could be seen as controversial. He is, of course, limited by the Imperial Household and its civil servants, as well as the government, in what he says.

That has not stopped him from expressing his opinion in more gentle tones. He has spoken a lot about the deep sorrow that he and his wife feels for the inhuman acts carried out during the war, and the suffering that the survivors went through, and still do today. Whilst he has not specifically said "Japan" in any of this, the intent of his words are clear.

The Emperor also made headlines in 2005 when they visited the island of Saipan. There, they visited what has become known as "Banzai cliff" where many Japanese, military and civilian alike, jumped to their deaths. At the time during the war, the Americans had landed on the island and where slowly marching inland. The Japanese military took it upon themselves to encourage the local populace to commit suicide to preserve their honour, and prevent themselves from falling into the hands of the "barbarian" Americans. The Emperor and his wife headed to the cliff, and prayed for the souls of the dead.

He has caused moments of light-heartedness too. Where he announced during a news conference for his birthday in 2001, told people he had traced his ancestry back to Korea!

On a more sobering note, recently, he bemoaned the fact that the 60 years of the Showa era have slowly begun to fade from Japan's collective memory. It is his belief that history should be maintained.

The Japanese Emperor has also been dragged into controversy not of his making. President Obama recently undertook a 4 nation trip through Asia. Starting in Japan, then off to Singapore, then back to China, and finally to South Korea.

The controversy came when Obama greeted the Emperor.

So, what is wrong with this picture? Well, apparently the fact that his bow to the Emperor was so deep, and apparently, subservient. In Japan, this bow is seen as being of proper depth to someone of such high honour as the Emperor of Japan. It has been greeted with approving nods amongst many here in Japan, as a sign of the US finally trying to understand its important Asian partner, and its customs. Indeed, due to its long period of isolation, the Japanese have developed their own unique culture. They have arrived at the same destination as the rest of us, just on different tracks.

Whilst there are many in Japan praising Obama for his display of proper etiquette, there are those on the right of politics in the US who are in absolute uproar. Palin blasted him for showing that the US was weak. Whilst Cheney came out and said it was wrong for the President of the United States to bow to the leader of another country, and essentially questioned Obama's manhood.

However, both conveniently forget...

George W Bush holding hands with Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. Of course, the right argue that this is OK, as in the Middle East, this sort of thing is a sign of friendship...

And Nixon bowed to Emperor Hirohito. The Emperor that was on the throne at the time Japan attacked the US. Not only that but the bow was IN the US!

All Obama did was fall in line with local custom. It is custom in Japan to bow. The hand shake came much later in Japan. The bow is still a very formal, and most commonly accepted way of greeting each other here. And to make it hard for us foreigners here, there are many different bows. To signify your relationship with the other person, their seniority, their position in relation to you, etc.

To all those who are critical of Obama. Wake up. He is the President of the United States. Clue in the name. President of the United States. Not Japan. Whilst he is the leader of the US, he is still technically covered by the same regulations that cover me as a foreigner here in Japan. Those regulations are waived because of who he is and in the interests of international diplomacy. But they do exist. Should the Japanese choose to, they could make him enter Japan just like the rest of us, and be subject to photographing and fingerprinting. Obama's act shows proper courtesy to the head of the nation of Japan. Especially since Obama is simply a guest on a business trip.

What do the Japanese think of the Emperor? Well, you have a range of opinions. Some want to abolish the Chrysanthemum Throne, and go for a Presidency. A small minority on the other side want to scrap the Diet, and give the Emperor total power. The vast majority are happy with where the Emperor is now.

Another point of interest is that in Japan, there are 2 calendars! 1 is the standard calendar we all recognise in the west. However, in Japan, on official documentation, they use a calendar based on the reign of the Emperors through Japan's history. And since the Japanese Imperial line is the longest unbroken royal line, the calendar goes a long way back!

First of all, it is worth noting that when an Emperor dies, his name will be changed. The last Emperor of Japan was the Emperor Hirohito. The Emperor on the throne during WW2. Many wanted his removal after the war, but the Americans rightly realised that to do so would be to invite some kind of public explosion. Upon his death, however, his name was changed to Emperor Showa. So, the time in Japan during his reign is known as the Showa era. The current Emperor will be known as Heisei upon his death, and now, we are in the Heisei era here in Japan. So, whilst for most things, I was born in 1978, according to official documentation such as my driving licence, I was born in Showa 53!

Well, I could keep going about the Emperor and the family. Problem is, whilst this family lives by a strict set of formal rules, there is plenty going on about which one could write. The Imperial family tries very hard to maintain a balance in its life between a slowly changing Japan, and a strong belief that the Imperial family's function is to preserve the dignity of Japan, preserve a link with Japan's past, maintaining its traditions, preventing them from being lost forever.

The Emperor has maintained a stoic silence as it has gone through some major crises, such as the lack of a male heir. The family has seen Japan rise from the ashes after the war and become the second biggest economy in the world. They have seen Japanese society slowly become more urbanised, and new technologies allow information to flow far further and faster than ever before.

Whatever the future holds, the Japanese royal family will face it with a gentle smile, and a determination to maintain the decorum that they have become famous for.

Copying is the sincerest form of flattery?

Back in the summer I commented on China's growing Shenzai industry, or the cellphones copying western models, such as Apple's iPhone, and pretty much everything from the Docomo/AU/Softbank line-up here in Japan. This is not the end of Chinese industry's manic search for acceptance by going from making tat, to making high quality stuff. Problem is, developing this reputation takes a long time. Did Apple become cool overnight? Well, kinda, it rejuvenated itself with the launch of the iPod, but that took years of development, and came off the back of it relaunching itself on the back of the iMac, and that itself was something that took years...

China is looking for instant gratification, and does not want to spend time on the whole niggly issue of designing its own products, so is lifting "western" designs, and re-badging them, and selling them back.

It is in everything. Fast food, cell phones, computers, and cars. Cars are expensive to develop, even more difficult to build a reputation, and a very heavy long term investment. Look at Kia. A laugh when it launched in Europe, but slowly, steadily, it is introducing better and better cars, and is beginning to develop a reputation. It took Japanese companies decades to go from being a joke to having the top-ranked cars in the world.

China is trying to do that in months. Look at Shanghai automotive. They bought a lot of Rover in 2006, and has now re-launched it as the Roewe 750. It is pretty much the same as the Rover 75, just a slightly longer wheelbase, and a tweaked nose.

Shanghai can do this, as they hold the designs and they maintain a design house in England, keeping many of the old Rover workers. However, many companies do not have the rights to build the cars the way they do, nor have they signed agreements to copy the styles of other companies. They are looking to achieve the same levels of respect that the western companies have, but to do in months what took western companies decades.

Here are a few. Spot the difference!

The Shuanghuan CEO, and BMW's X5. The ends are different, and you can easily tell them apart. However, the side and back are nearly indistinguishable!

The Smart Fortwo, and Shenghuan Noble. The Smart uses a rear-mounted engine, plastic body panels, and a unique safety cell. The Shenhuan Noble looks the same, but the engine is in the front, and the body is conventional steel. And its own unique safety cell. Which is, er, the same...

Mini's Clubman, and Jalopniks Lifan 320. Jalopnik claim it is not a Mini, because theirs has bigger dimensions to the Mini. Ignoring the fact that their car LOOKS the same, especially in pictures which share the same dimensions!

Mercedes CLK (2007) and Byd F8. The Mercedes features a range of engines from 3 to 5 litres, and awesome driving refinement. The Byd F8 has a 1.8, or 2 litre engine, developing about 100bhp. But it LOOKS nice, Mercedes styling cues. And weirdly, a BMW inspired corporate logo...

Mazda 3, and Haima 3. Here, Haima used to have a deal to make Mazda 3's for the Chinese market. The deal lapsed because Mazda felt it would be better if they made the Mazda 3 for the Chinese market, and pulled the Mazda 3 from Haima. No problem. Haima just carried on!

Daewoo Matiz, and Cherry QQ. These cars are so similar, that the doors ARE pretty much interchangeable! However, the QQ managed to get a 0 star rating in the Euro crash tests, and GM took court action. Cherry have agreed to only sell the car in China.

Honda CRV, and Laibao SRV.This is lazy. The car is the same, and the name is the same!

Neoplan Starliner, and Zonda A9. It is not just cars. Neoplan is one of the biggest makers of buses, and so, has made them a target for copycatting. The Neoplan is safe, and has a great reputation. The Zonda bus company has been ordered to stop selling it since Neoplan has all the copyrights...

Toyota Prado, and the Dadi Shuttle. I hate it when they get so lazy that they just mirror another model...

Toyota Rav4, and Shuanghuan UFO.

Now, to my personal favourite. The most prestigious brand in the world, Rolls Royce, is not immune to this. At the Shanghai motor show, Geely unveiled their Ge. Which Geely even delcare to be reinventing the classic! Problem is, when the classic is a Rolls, does it need reinventing!?!

Rolls Royce is talking to its lawyers. They will be good Lawyers.

As I said in my last article on this. Chinese companies have shown that they are capable of developing things which have some interesting twists. But in their manic rush for acceptability, they are copying others.

Why?

They have the money, and China as a nation can afford the time to be a bit more patient, and turn their hand to developing a truly Chinese car with its own distinctive style!

Ah well. some day, some day, they will learn...

Sit on this for my pleasure.

Got your attention? Good.

Thought it might be fun to highlight something that affords us gaikokujin here in Japan to awesome lengths.

Engrish.

One problem we have is that Japanese and English do not translate directly into each other. This does lead to some hilarious mistranslations. In order to add some extra cool internationalness, people will tack on to their product a line or 2 of English. Or if it is fashion, the shirt will include something in English.

The problem is, because many Japanese are not so adept at English, they will use translation services on the internet, or punch it into a e-dictionary and run with whatever it spits out. Problem with these electronic services is that they translate literally, and completely ignore the nuances that come with each language.

The end results can be hilarious!

First of all, this number. Must admit, I am also baffled by billchit. Answers, please, on a postcard to...

America has the NBA, and in Japan we have the amusingly titled BJ League. Cue huge burst of laughter when the cheerleaders walk around with a banner proclaiming them to be the BJ champions...

"Cant we all just get a bong?" Well, I know many who would agree with both sentiments. Once we have crow-barred them apart...

Yes. If you have a problem with an ATM in Japan, dont bother trying to get help. However, if there is some spotty oik harassing you, then by all means, call for help!

Sod lotion. For those moments Sods law steps in to ruin the moment.

I suppose the best kind of philospher is the one who talks to himself, and not to us...?

Not sure at all what this one is talking about.

Well. We all want our brains relocating. Somewhere preferably hot, with a white sandy beach!

Well, there are some examples of Engrish. Hope you enjoyed. There are plenty more where these came from!

EPL Update. November (1)

Well, we have moved in to November, and the EPL is still throwing up a lot of interesting moments! The top of the league has fluctuated a lot, whilst the bottom has actually begun to stabilize a bit. So, from top to bottom, here are the teams, and a summary of things so far.

1) Manchester Phoenix

Manchester seem to have finally shaken off whatever bug it was that was doing the rounds through the dressing room last month. This month has seen the team win every game since losing in that very strange game to Slough last month. A convincing 8-4 win in Basingstoke started this turnaround, followed by a 6-3 grind against Swindon. Then, a monster 2nd period blitz against Bracknell allowed the team to go from toughing out the game, to a comfortable 8-3 win. The month was then rounded out with a tough, exciting game against the Lightning, and winning 3-2. The game by all accounts was fantastic. Feisty, energetic, full of combat, but overall, full of fun!

Now, the Phoenix have closed on Milton Keynes, and then opened up a 2 point gap, with a game in hand.

2) Milton Keynes Lightning

Milton Keynes had a mid week game against Swindon, where they managed to scrape a 3-2 win. This drawn out win was followed with a blow out of Romford, who are unfortunately turning into the leagues whipping boys. Deeply sorry for them! MK walked out with 2 points, and a 11 goal difference, after scoring 12!

However, Bracknell caused something of a surprise, with a 3-2 win in Bracknell. Never mind. These happen. Unfortunately for MK, there where following losses to Slough (6-3) and of course, the Phoenix. So, 5 games, 2 wins, and a current 3 game losing streak. Still, goes to show how teams are taking points off each other, in a league this close, after 3 losses, MK is still 2nd!

3) Guildford Flames

The Flames have been working away, and keeping themselves there or thereabouts for a while. They are 2 points behind the Lightning, with 2 games in hand on them. This month has been short. so far, only 3 games, a loss to the improving Peterborough Phantoms, then followed by 2 wins. 5-2 over Swindon, and then, 3-2 over the Bison.

4) Sheffield Scimitars

Sheffield have managed to do themselves a big favour. After slipping down the league, they have managed to get bodies back, and managed to edge back up the table. They started out with good wins against Slough (A team that seems to have the Phoenix' number!), and the Bison, followed a close win against Peterborough, and then another game against Slough. This was a win from penalty shots.

5) Slough Jets

Slough have carried on quietly working away, with a very good squad. However, they still manage to cough at just the wrong moments! The month started with a big 8-3 loss to the Scimitars, Followed by a close 4-2 win against Romford. A team that has shown that it can play. Just not very often. Slough then followed that with a 6-3 win over the then-league leaders, MK, and finally, a 2-1 over time loss to the Scimitars. Sheffield seem to have THEIR number!

6) Basingstoke Bison

Basingstoke have not enjoyed the same level of success as Manchester has, in spite of being in their first year in the EPL after dropping down from the Elite League. Basingstoke started November with an 8-4 loss to the Phoenix, then another loss to Sheffield. Finally! A bit of good news! A win over Romford, followed by yet another loss. This time, against Guildford.

7) Swindon Wildcats

As it stands, the Wildcats are wobbling along, and need to get a move on. Peterborough are slowly closing the gap! Swindon started with a mid-week loss to the Lightning, then to the Phoenix, then to the Flames, and finally, they managed to lose in a big way. 8-3. To Romford. Yes. Romford. Swindon gave Romford its first seasons win!

8) Peterborough Phantoms

Peterborough have managed to pick up a couple more wins, to close a little on Bracknell. They started the run with a win over the team above them, the Bees. Then followed that up with a win over the Guildford Flames. However, things began to go a little wrong with a loss to the Sheffield Scimitars, then the gap grew a little when they faced the Bees again, but this time, lost.

9) Bracknell Bees

Bracknells season has not so much hit the skids as unfortunately it now seems to be wallowing a little in the mud, with the other teams round them managing to avoid the puddles. Well, apart from Romford.

Bracknell lost a little ground when they started the month losing to Peterborough, then they managed to surprise MK, beating the Lightning 3-2. Then a loss to Manchester, only to regain the lost ground to Peterborough with a 6-4 win.

10) Romford Raiders

Unfortunately for Romford, they have not been blessed with a whole lot of luck this season. However, they are an earnest squad, and knew that if they kept working, the rewards would come. Unfortunately, the rewards have been very thin on the ground.

At the start of the month, they where turned over in a big way by MK, 12-1. This was follwed by a relatively close 4-2 loss to Slough, then another big loss to Basingstoke 12-4. However, the very next game against Swindon saw Romford finally catch a break. Not only that, but a huge break. An 8-3 win! That will have gone some way to evening out the scoring race. Unfortunately, they have shipped a lot of goals already, so bagging 8 wont amount to much...