Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The game of Kings!

Golf is a great game, yet it is so easy to turn it around and declare that Golf is one of the worst and most frustrating games ever!

I have discovered both of these feelings recently!

It is a lot like Archery, a sport I once enjoyed in a previous life, and got to the point where, whilst I was not great, I was reasonably confident enough that the pointy end of the arrow ended up stuck in the proper receptacle! Archery is a sport not so big on high levels of explosive energy, but it is huge on calmness, and control.

It is all about the search for that one, perfect, blissful shot.

The one shot that as soon as you loose the arrow, know its fantastic! And likely to miss the target as everything is set to cope with your foibles and quirks which add a kick to the arrow and screw up its flight!

Golf is the same as archery. All about everything flowing just right, and resulting in that one perfect shot that flies exactly where you want. Except that perfect shot does not simply exist! The professionals have got to the point where they get pretty darned close on a regular basis and can make a living out of it, and the rest of us are left to hack away shoving the ball closer to the hole yard by agonising yard.

That is what happened to me recently.

My girlfriend used to play golf, and I got interested. All of Japan likes golf. Either they play, or they want to play. Golf is huge business here. Tiger Woods is hugely popular, but he is easily dwarfed by Ryo Ishigawa. A 17 year old prodigy who is now ranked as Japans number 1. His face is on everything. Guys want to re-start their lives as him. Ladies want to be his mum. Girls want to marry him. He is good at golf.

I, unfortunately, am not.

My student recently took me out for my first ever time to play. My girlfriend got me a fantastic "The Open" branded golf bag (she won it!) and several other bits and pieces. The golf clubs, we managed to barter a shop down to making them really cheap, and the rest I picked up on the way.

So. With all my shiny new stuff and a fresh pair of pants, I eagerly strode down to the 7-11 near my girlfriends place where I was due to meet my student, and off we set for Kashiwazaki Seaside GolfClub. This is a local amenity that was constructed in the mid-70's by Riken, one of the local major companies.


The nice thing with Seaside is that it is cheap! 2,000 yen to play the 9 holes once, then if you want to go round again, you have to re-book another time, but this time it is only a further 1,000 yen. So, 3,000 yen for 18 holes is really quite cheap.

The site itself has a slightly dated, but clean clubhouse where you can go for the obligatory lunch (You have to have a lunch break at most Japanese golf courses after the first 9 holes). The complex features a driving range, an putting green, and of course, 9 holes.

The course itself really is not taxing. So, ideal for beginners like Yuko, and great for idiots like me who think theat we can just have a go!

So, get a bucket, a few tokens, and off we set. The machine for the driving range has a big hole where you stick the bucket, drop a coin in, and the machine belches out several fistfuls of balls. A second coin sees the basket about half full, and off we trot to take a few practise swings.

I have no real experience with golf. I have played adventure golf many times in Florida, so putting held no fear. The difficult bit would be getting to the green in the first place!

So, a few practise swings and I realise that I am hitting the ball about 100 to 150 yards. Not bad for my first go.

Then off to the putting green and as I suspected, I actually was not that bad. If I had a few rocks to bank the ball off, or a small waterfall, I'd be set...

At last, our time came. At 10.10 precisely, my student teed off, and sent the ball soaring away into the sky where we promptly lost the white ball against the grey-white clouds!

Up I step.

Its OK Paul. Just like at the driving range.

Relax. Breathe.

Slow wind up.

Now, swing through, twist the hips, watch the ball and pummel the thing miles!

And it crashes about 80 yards up.

Disappointing. Still, we are off and away!

After about a million goes, I finally settle into the pattern of pushing the ball, rather than elegantly chipping the thing.
My student realises we are in for a long morning. But he is Japanese. Lots of encouragement, and calls of "Jouzou!" (great!) greets my every shot. It starts out as a very flattering way of stopping my ego from collapsing and me giving up, but after a while, even I have to admit that I am really not that good, and please stop!

However, I dont say that. It would be un-Japanese of me!

On to the the second hole (I told you, putting was no problem!), and my first water hazard. This time I manage a pretty good shot off the tee, about 100 yards! Only problem is, the far bank of the water hazard was about 110 yards away!

Yep, my ball was lost in the drink!

Still. After pushing the ball on to the green, a good long putt saw me sink it.

On we went. Because of the 4some ahead of us, we kept having to wait, and the couple behind us caught us up and waited as well. My student decided to ask them to play with us. Did nothing for me. The wife was pretty handy with a golf club, whilst the husband, I swear he was born in one of the bunkers! He was brilliant!

Still. A most amuzing morning where everyone played golf and I pushed the ball around. They all walked round, enjoying the weather as I was working up a sweat! Swinging a golf club is actually hard work!

Finally, made it back to the clubhouse, and a chance to have a break before having another go! I was officially nackered.

Still. A bowl of curry and rice, a sit-down, and some cold drinks saw some semblence of control returning to my system, and off we went for round 2.

This time, I really sucked! Not only was I scuffing the ball and effectively shoving it into the ground and not allowing the ball to go any great distance, but I was tired. My hips ached from the twisting, my lower back was not happy, my left hand hurt, and my shoulders where distinctly unhappy.

Still. This time, it was only me and my student, and with a lot of encouragement, I pressed on. I had given up trying to be good, and just decided to swipe away.

As a technique it did not help. However, it did make me more and more angry and frustrated. Remember, before, I said Golf is all about calm and control? I was rapidly losing mine. I sank another ball, literally, into the water hazard on the 2nd hole.

However, in the final stretch, with 3 holes to go, I got terribly wound up and annoyed. A little introspective thinking, and I just thought "sod it, relax, dont think, just hit the thing!"

And you know, this not-thinking philosphy may actually have something in it! Suddenly I started t do much better! Not Tiger Woods better, but much more Golf-like. I was hitting the ball, and rather than just skipping along the turf it was actually lifting up and getting some decent distance!Now I was playing, and even managed to beat my student on one of the holes! It was down to the putting...

So, I managed it. 15 holes of hell, with 3 holes of near exctasy! It was amazing! And I only lost 2 balls!

The one thing I am proud of though, throughout all this, I managed 2 things. Most of my shots where reasonably accurate, and 2, I managed to smash a trowel that they use for filling divots with sand!


So, there you go. Golf in Japan. Frustrating, yet full of compliments and nicely dressed people. It is usually expensive, but sometimes, can throw up some on-a-budget gems. If you like golf, you have to try it in Japan. It is really serious here, and at some point, there will be a Japanese who does something.

But remember, you have to keep going.

There is a schedule to keep.

Dont want you slowing down now...

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